i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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