Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
