My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
All I want is dick and wine.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
