my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
True college students do jello shots in the library
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
