I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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