Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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