Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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