The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
