I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
