Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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