got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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