Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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