please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
