we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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