I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Michael Bay diarrhea
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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