Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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