so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
