Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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