Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
