I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize