i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
