About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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