High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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