I wish I only lived at night.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
