I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
