All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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