Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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