I'm really into asian looking animals
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Come see our sink grown plant.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Randomize
