Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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