a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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