My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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