I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Say something about gay babies.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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