A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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