ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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