So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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