If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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