she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
