I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Of course I have a pirate flag
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
