when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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