You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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