i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
