you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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