i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
