So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
