I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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