grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
