Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
you never un-have a 4some
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
