new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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