One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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