I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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