What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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