If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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