Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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