the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
All I want is dick and wine.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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