The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
