Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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