Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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