That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
