Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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