the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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