did you get engaged???
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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