Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
