I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
