Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize