trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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