the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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