Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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