just tell him i said nine months
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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